A few weeks ago I had two different people share a podcast with me. As I got about 10 minutes into it, I asked myself, “Why am I watching this?” The topic they started discussing was “Goal Setting,” or in their perspective, how the lack of “Goal Setting” actually helps you achieve more. They also discounted the S.M.A.R.T. Principle, which is an acronym that says your goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. They even argued that both the concepts of writing down your goals and telling others about it for accountability wouldn’t help you reach your goals. Hearing all of this was extremely challenging for me, considering that 80% or more of my achievements have all been through following the exact steps they were trying to debunk.
I have fought blood, sweat, and tears for what I have accomplished in life using the above steps. Furthermore, I have used these methods to coach hundreds of people. Guess what happened when they followed these measures? They CRUSHED their goals! Better than that, I also recall the people that didn’t follow these steps in life achieved less.
"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: fear of failure." Paulo Coelho
The first thing I think of when someone doesn't want to set a goal is fear. They are typically not only afraid of failure but also looking foolish to others. I know this because I have felt the same way. I have thought to myself, “What if I tell everyone I want to be the champion and then I don’t even make the top three? I am going to look like a chump. They are going to think I suck. My students are going to wonder why they are even training with me.”
Well I can tell you one thing for sure, I didn’t always win. In fact, I lost my first full contact stick fighting competition that I trained months for, while my head student took a fight with just a few hours notice and won! That means I suck, right? Why would anyone want to train with me anymore? Guess what happened? Everyone continued to train with me. In fact, I gained more students because I put “IT” on the line. I stepped up. Do you know what they respected even more? They admired that I fought an opponent that was already a world champion. They looked up to me because I stepped in the ring and gave it my all.
I remember losing the first round on a technical foul but definitively took the second round. That made the third round the tie-breaker. Despite almost knocking him out, I got caught on the ropes and took some damage. Losing sucks! I easily could have come home and called it quits. I could have said that was my “One and Done,” but I didn’t. I wanted to fix my shortcomings. I wanted to display my better understanding of what I should have done. So what did I do? I signed up for the next tournament that was within two months of that loss. I progressed my strategies, continued with my competitive training, and I stepped back in the ring.
The difference between these two events was an eye-opening experience. When I arrived for the first tournament, I remember seeing the Kris Sword that was the prize for the first place. I thought how awesome it would be to win that and bring it home, but that wasn’t my original motivation through my training camp. I honestly just wanted to get my first full-contact stick fight under my belt. That was the goal I stated, and that is what I accomplished. What made the difference in my second training camp was I wanted to WIN! It wasn’t just a “kinda want to win.” It was a strong desire to get that “W” back. I wanted more than anything to have some success and win at least one match. I also recall thinking how cool it would be to earn a medal. Guess what happened that day? I did just that. I got my “W,” and I brought home 2nd Place from our State Championships!
Time after time again, I have proof from myself, and many others; that working with the SMART Principle, writing down your goals, and telling everyone about them, pays off. Maybe I am a little biased, but anyone would be with this much definitive proof that a system like this works time and time again.
Recently I was working on a Master Class that had a lesson on different types of bias. Reflecting on this lesson showed me that my feelings for the podcast fell into what is known as “Confirmation Bias.” It's where you remember the hits, but forget the misses. We all do it. Maybe it is our insecurity, the need to feel special, or the way our brain perceives the situation. Either way, we tend to gravitate towards things that agree with us. This podcast perspective didn’t agree with me, so I immediately shut it down.
Neil deGrasse Tyson describes this best by what shows up in your news feed and what you find when you search the internet. He also brings up a good point. If you only read or listen to what you agree with, you end up putting yourself in a box or bubble, which takes away your ability to reach the objective truth. It hinders us from being scientists in life and experimenting to find happiness.
On that note, I have accomplished goals that weren’t “Specific.” I remember we had attended a competition multiple times and were only able to advance to the semi-finals twice. It was a great achievement to get to the final eight of nearly eighty competitors, but it still wasn’t a medal. Coming home short-handed a few times dampened everyone’s spirit, which made the entire team take time off from competing. I took it upon myself to try and fire them up by going back to the event. I knew it would be tough not having the team there to support me, but it was a necessity. I set a goal to bring home at a minimum 4th place and show them that it was possible. When I arrived at the two-day tournament, I saw they had TITLE BELTS for 1st place!!! I had helped my team achieve this before from the sidelines, but I had never earned one myself. Seeing those belts lit a fire under me, which made me so hungry for more. That year I surpassed my goal and had the honor of competing in over 14 matches, winning not just one, but two World Championships. That led to my next challenge, which was flying home with two title belts and $5000 worth of swords and knives. Do you think they were excited after this?
My point here is that 1st place wasn’t my initial desire, so technically, I didn’t achieve my goal. Don’t get me wrong, I am going to take my championship belts and be very happy; but in this case, my use of the S.M.A.R.T. Principle didn’t work exactly the way it had in the past. I showed up, saw those shiny belts, and chased after them. Does that mean that the goal-setting principles are less effective?
“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.” Bruce Lee
Setting a goal isn’t always the endpoint; nor a lid to your potential. Does that mean that the goal-setting principles are less effective? It also isn’t necessary to get into action. If you don’t know your goal yet, show up and get to work. If you “Get after it” enough, your goal will start to sketch itself out, and you will be able to give it shape and definition. When in doubt, “Just do it” because something always comes from hard work. I can tell you from experience, having a goal is a compass that can help guide you through the fog of pain and suffering.
Ultimately, we shouldn’t allow “fear of failure” to hold us back from setting a goal. There is no such thing as losing if you take on the perspective, “I either win, or I learn.” Goal setting is like time management systems, workout structures, and diet plans. There are a million ways to skin a cat. What works for some might not work for you. Therefore you can tackle success with any approach, as long as you fight for what you want. Aim and aim high. Fight and fight hard.
“For the secret of a man’s being is not only to live but to have something to live for.” Dostoyevsky
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