When a parent signs up their child to train in martial arts with us, I explain to them that if you do anything long enough, there is a guarantee that you will want to quit more times than we can count along the journey. As we look at the belt progression on the wall, I point to specific moments where they will want to retreat from their commitment to their Black Belt, which begins a downward spiral of completing and accomplishing fewer long-term goals later in life.
In martial arts, we learn to earn every step of the way. It starts with simple protocols in class for your white belt. Then it increases in remembering techniques for your first few stripes. Slowly we build on those techniques and begin more contested drills with our training partners. We create structure and habits along the way that help us control our emotions and give us confidence in many areas.
Over the years of teaching youth, we have heard many reasons why someone wants to quit including that the training is boring or even too challenging. Martial arts, like sports, music, or art, requires high-volume repetition to get good at it. During this course, we try hard to disguise repetition and keep learning fresh; but there is still a solid chance that students might feel a little lackluster while working to reach an elevated skillset. More importantly, since we are training in martial arts, there is a guarantee that it will be challenging, which develops discipline and mental fortitude, ultimately creating an indomitable spirit.
But what if boredom and difficulty aren’t the real reasons someone wants to quit? Similar to escaping a position while wrestling or blocking a combination of strikes from our opponent, there is usually a precursor, trigger, or even series of events that pressure us to make a decision.
As we peel the layers back, a child or even an adult is often at home doing something they already really enjoy. Would you want to stop doing something you enjoy doing only to do something else you also enjoy doing? Probably not.
So, how do we stop this process that both holds us back from getting started and directs us towards quitting on doing things we should do? We go old school and flip everything upside down. Before enjoying whatever it is in our spare time, we set ourselves a perimeter so that we may learn to earn it! In doing this, we take our everyday pleasures and turn them into rewards like when we were children. We came home from school only to finish our homework and chores around the house before we even thought about asking to do anything else. What if we only reward ourselves after we perform, execute, and accomplish something? A list of things just might get done, and we might also achieve larger goals.
Utilizing this mentality, we could take our creature comforts like certain foods, drinks, games, television, and more as a hard-earned gratuity to our work for the day, week, or whatever amount of time we set for ourselves.
If we apply the learn-to-earn format to everything we do in life, we will find ourselves never truly getting bored because we will set goals for ourselves daily, rise to face challenges, and push ourselves to all-new levels. We will cease to make excuses, feel guilty when we don’t follow through, and quit far less on things that are good for us.
Starting today, what gratification can you put on hold until you work for it? What goal can you set for yourself to push for before the sun sets? How can you challenge yourself now so that you may have that reward you enjoy so much? Follow these simple steps and watch as your focus, discipline, and endurance build and stretch further, allowing you to go longer without those comforts.
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