How To Eliminate Your Extremes And Open Your Possibilities

The other day I was cooking when I heard my youngest use an “extreme” word that led us to discuss how the words we speak affect our thoughts, which in turn affect our actions. So what is an “extreme” word?  A few examples are, never, always, every time, everywhere, and everyone.  The use of these words sets us up for failure, or worse, gives us an excuse to not even start on a path to improve ourselves.  

We’ve all been guilty of saying something similar to “Every time I do XZY, it never works out.” Sounds a bit extreme, right? I mean, really, every time? I bet if you did “XYZ” 100 times, you would find scientifically that your percentage would be better than never.  

Changing our vocabulary is probably one of the hardest things to do because we get caught up with our interpretations of the world around us. When we do, we must remind ourselves that whatever “XYZ” is will sometimes, not always, and not never work. Understanding this removes our fears and excuses for not starting or continuing with the charge to better ourselves.  

Martial Arts and life are so related. The road to becoming a world champ in any sport is not a quick, show up, walk out, and BOOM, you got the win!  Often it is a slow, grinding process filled with bumps, bruises, strains, and many pains.  I recall competing multiple times and often not making it to the final three until one day I did.  I wasn’t the best the first, second, third, or even fourth time I competed.  I coached many of my students to win championships long before it was my turn.  

Like rolling the dice on probability, I kept showing up.  I didn’t win every time, but I also didn’t always lose either.  I just kept plugging away at what I wanted, which was to test what I had learned.  I took all my experience and knowledge and poured it into others until finally, it was my turn.  The funny thing was when my turn did come around; I almost gave up.  If I had, then I would have missed my opportunity. 

Across that two-day weekend, I lost my first match of the day in the first division on a technicality.  I thought to myself, “Why am I even here?” There were four divisions, which meant everyone had multiple chances and all I had to do was keep stepping in the ring, match after match, and division after division for the entire weekend. Like life, all I had to do was keep showing up and trying my best.   

I stepped back in there and won my first match of the following division. Then a second, third, fourth, and finally the fifth until it happened.  I finally got my BELT!  The second day I showed up stiff, sore, and in pain.  I fought several matches in the first division that morning until I finally lost.  I felt at ease with my performance because I won a championship the previous day.  I could have easily sat back and been good with where I was, but then again, “Good is the enemy of great.”

I walked in there for the fourth division and began a climb again through the competition.  I was tired and honestly did not keep up with the bracket at that point.  I had not realized that I was standing in that moment again until they said, “This is for 1st Place and the Championship."

That last match started horribly. I was getting demolished by 7 or 8 to zero.  Then, like the division the first day, I got on the scoreboard.  We went back and forth until time ran out.  Honestly, neither of us knew where we were on the scoreboard.  As if it was something from a movie, the dramatic moment happened and it was a tie!  In this format, there would only be one chance, one opportunity, and that was it.  They said fight, and we both went for it.  I did not stop and think in extremes.  I just executed what I did early in that match to get myself on the scoreboard.  I took a chance and tried again.  I rolled the dice and once again plugged away at the percentages.  Then it happened again.  For the second time in one weekend, I became a world champion. 

If I would have thought in extremes, then maybe this would have never happened because every time we went to this tournament, we always got to the final eight, but never the top three.  So why even go at all right?  The more you eliminate these words from your thought process, the more you can start thinking about what is important; the opportunity.  The chance to succeed is available to anyone that keeps chipping away.  It can be ours, as long as we keep going.  I saw the back of a shirt recently that perfectly sums up this mentality.  

“Crawling is acceptable.
Falling is acceptable.
Puking is acceptable.
Crying is acceptable.
Pain is acceptable.
Quitting is not.”

#StillComingForYou2021
#FightTheGoodFight

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Guro Larry, Sonja, Lauren & Tori St. Clair

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